A lumberjack was with his boss on their way to a job. The boss was talking about something, but the lumberjack was distracted. This car has a new air freshener, thought the lumberjack, It’s a kind of piney scent. Maybe I’ll ask him what it is.
The two men arrived at a hill. “Do you understand what you are supposed to do?” asked the boss.
“Yessir I do,” said the lumberjack. The lumberjack got out of the car. He climbed to the top of a hill, and at the top of the hill was a tree.
“Hello, man. Nice to meet you,” said the tree.
“I have to cut down this tree,” said the lumberjack, “Or else it will eat people as they walk by.”
“Please don’t cut me down,” said the tree. But the lumberjack didn’t listen and started swinging his axe.
After a while, a newly wed couple approached. “Oh sorry, this place is off limits,” said the lumberjack.
“What is that you’re doing here?” asked the groom.
“I’m cutting down this tree so it won’t eat people.”
“Actually I don’t eat people,” said the tree.
“Enough of your nonsense, tree.”
“The tree seems quite nice,” said the bride.
“I’m just doing my job.” The lumberjack resumed his task and the newly wed couple went around the hill.
By noon, the lumberjack fell the tree. At that moment, the boss returned to check on him. “What have you done?” he shouted.
“I cut down the tree like you asked.”
“No, I said don’t cut down the tree because it likes to meet people. You were supposed to bring the tree out to brunch.”
“Why did you tell me to bring my axe then?”
“I told you you needed Axe, I tried to give you some pine deodorant but you just left.”
“Well this is awkward. Maybe I should have paid attention.”
“You killed me,” said the tree.